hey kid

I thought the world revolved around me. Wait, I didn't actually think the world revolved around me. But I did think that everything had to do with me - I was the connecting point for everything. It wasn't just when I was little. Even now I think that everything going on is because of me. I think that my friends were there for me. I think my family had me because they wanted everything about me. I think pictures with me in them were taken because I was in them. But I am SO NOT the center of the world.

Taking care of a seven-year-old day-in and day-out shows me things. I don't get a few minutes to talk to my friend or Mom on the phone? Okay. I don't get to go for a short walk by myself? I am taking a kid with me this time and she's going to slow everything down? Okay. I don't get to talk to my boyfriend every day? I don't get lots of free time for my own reading, self-betterment, etc? Or what about this more long term realization - I am not going to be college forever? I won't be with people my age forever, and I won't always get to be Miss Independent? My studying and courses will have to be put into practice? I will have to get along with people and live with people that may not even be my age and liking? Oh my goodness. I phrase all these realizations with a question mark because I am still in shock.

But there's nothing better than listening to an old man chat about baseball and trains and how things used to be, nothing better than scrubbing a little girl's scalp during bath time - her black head with white suds - with wet arms and splashed water on my jeans, and nothing more satisfying than holding that same little girl close to me and smelling that same dark little head of hair with a quick, approving kiss.

I can't think of anything better than helping my friend who struggles with what Christianity is. Or peeling a peach for a child's enjoyment. Or playing clapping games with kids I met this morning. There's nothing better than being in a place where I am not the center of attention. The world moves too fast and beautifully to be confused about what's revolving around what.